Safe In His Arms
by Traci
Summary: Where did Stella go after the final scene of All Access? MS friendship with UST. Postep for 'All Access'.


Disclaimer: Someday I swear I'll write my own show but, sadly, since that day has not yet arrived, CSI:NY belongs to Bruckheimer and CBS. Treat them well!

Category: Mac and Stella friendship

Spoilers: All Access (post-ep)

Rating: K+

Author: Traci

Summary: Where did Stella go after the final scene of All Access?

Author's Note: It's just not a fic by me if there is not note hehe. Started this the night the episode originally aired and um, kind of got stuck with writer's block on it for a short time (er, a year is a short time, right??). Sadder still is I got writers block for such a short story!! Anyway, yet another post-ep for All Access hehe. Again, a thanks to Jacqueline.

* * *

**Safe In His Arms**

* * *

Stella was not sure where she was going. She only knew she had to get out of her own apartment. She had tried to be brave, had tried to be strong and he had let her. A small smile grew across her lips as she thought of him. He had given her the space he knew she would want and need yet she knew he was never far away if she needed him. 

Throwing the last article of clothing in the bag, she took one last look around her ransacked and blood-stained apartment, sighed then left.

"Something told me you'd still be here," she softly said as she stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby of the building.

Taking the bag from her hand, Mac smiled. "Probably would have still been here in the morning too."

Had it been anyone else, Stella would have been angry and hurt that they had not honored her request to be by herself. Her defenses would have gone up in protest that anyone would think her less than independent, less than strong, less than fully capable of handling what had happened all by herself, but this was Mac. He was the one who just knew, the one who would never think anything less of her.

"That chair might have been a little uncomfortable you know."

Giving her a sideway glance and a small smirk, he placed his hand gently on the small of her back and led her outside. The instant chill sent shivers through her. Shivers that did not go unnoticed by her companion, yet he made no comment, merely pressed his hand a little firmer against her back.

"My car's just up the block," he told her.

A small nod acknowledged her hearing him. She felt a little guilty about not opening up to him about her fears, her inability to stay in her own apartment, the memories that continued to flood her mind but she was not ready yet.

"Are you hungry?" Mac asked as he opened the passenger door for her and placed her bag on the backseat.

"A little."

"Do you want me to make you something or do you want to stop somewhere?" he asked before walking to the driver's side and getting in himself.

"Mac, it's nearly two in the morning."

"You haven't answered my question though."

Thinking for a moment, she sheepishly asked, "Do you have ice cream at your place?"

He nodded and started the car. "Not chocolate chip mint, though. We can pick some up on the way."

Stella's eyes filled with tears and she quickly looked away. Never had she had anyone in her life, friend, lover or otherwise, who would just let her be herself like Mac had. Never had she had anyone who knew her so well.

"The FBI pulled his website off the internet," Mac quietly told her.

Swallowing hard, she looked over at him, suddenly terrified and embarrassed at the thought of him having seen the video of her and Frankie.

As if reading her thoughts, Mac smiled. "Flack told me what you said about it so I called in a favor. No one saw it."

"Thank you," she whispered.

* * *

After a quick stop for comfort food, Mac opened the front door for Stella, took her bag to his bedroom and returned to find her standing in the middle of the room staring at him. 

"What's wrong?"

With eyebrow arched, her eyes looked from him to the direction of his bedroom then back to him.

"You're certainly not sleeping on the couch. You're still recovering from physical injuries," he told her.

"And where are you going to sleep?" she asked with amusement.

"The couch." He grabbed a spoon from the drawer, placed it in the ice cream and handed it to Stella then picked up the small salad he had gotten for himself and followed her over to said couch.

"Mac, if you're not comfortable with me being here, I can certainly go to a hotel," she offered taking a big spoonful of ice cream.

"When have I ever not been comfortable with you around?"

Wrinkling her nose at him, she said, "People could talk."

"They already do."

Her green eyes went wide and he chuckled.

"You haven't heard the rumors? You mean I know something that the all-knowing Stella Bonasera doesn't?"

"Mac…"

"Relax, Stel. There's also a bet on when Lindsay and Danny are going to get together."

Digging the spoon into the ice cream, she laughed softly. "Yeah, I'm in on that one."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Thank you, Mac."

"I'll send a team over tomorrow to clean up your place if that's okay with you."

Stella nodded and merely dug at the ice cream.

More worried than before, Mac gently took the ice cream from her and turned a bit so he was facing her. "Stella, I'm not going to push you but… you need to talk about this. Don't do this, please. Don't shut yourself off." He gave a small, sad smile. "I already do that enough for both of us."

That got a return smile out of her. "I'm sorry, Mac. I know you're concerned but this is something I have to do in my own time and my own way." Stella took his hand and looked into his eyes. "I know you're here for me. I just… I just need time to process it all myself first."

Without a word, he pulled her to him. "Take all the time you need. I'm just glad you're alive."

Suddenly it hit her and she pulled back slightly so she could look at him. "How are you doing?"

He hesitated for a moment but owed it to her to open up to her if he wanted her to open up. "I was terrified when I saw you lying there face-down." It was then something uncharacteristic of Mac happened, tears welled in his eyes. "The thought that… that you might have been dead – that I might have lost you last night…" He pulled her close once again. "Please don't ever do that to me again."

Wrapping her arms tightly around him, she could only imagine what he felt like. She could only imagine what she would have gone through if she had walked in and found him lying unconscious and covered in blood and she managed to hold him even closer. "I won't," she whispered.

* * *

Somewhere during the night, Mac awoke with a start. His heart raced within his chest and he had to know. Quietly he padded into his bedroom. In his nightmare Stella had never opened her eyes. Stella had never woken up when he called her name. Stella had died. 

Still catching his breath, he silently watched as she slept peacefully in his bed. She was alive and she was safe. Turning to leave, he heard a soft sobbing so he walked closer to the bed. Stella was definitely asleep but she was crying in her sleep. "Oh, Stella," he whispered as he reached down and gently ran his fingers through her hair.

The mere touch of his finger jolted her and she quickly grabbed his arm and flipped him onto his back on the floor before she realized where she was and who was pinned beneath her. Jumping up, she said, "Mac, I'm so sorry." She helped him up then sat on the edge of the bed and wiped away the remnants of her tears. "I was back in my apartment and Frankie…"

As soon as she felt Mac's arms around her she completely broke down.

* * *

Slivers of light broke through the curtain, landing right on Stella's face. When she tried to turn away from it, she found herself unable to move. A moment of panic hit her and her body tensed. 

"Morning," Mac mumbled in her ear, still half-asleep.

Realizing they were both fully dressed and he was on top of the covers while she was underneath, her body relaxed. "Morning," she whispered back making no further effort to move.

Mac, however, suddenly realized where they were and, more surprisingly, that Stella was cocooned in his arms. "Um, sorry," he said, lifting his arm off her.

But she stopped him, bringing his arm back down around her. "Nothing happened and… I think we both slept a little better than we would have otherwise."

He sleepily kissed her tousled hair. "How are you doing now that you've had a good night's sleep?"

Stella rolled over so they were face to face. "It's still scary. I still can see him and…" She closed her eyes and felt Mac's arm tighten around her waist. "I can still feel him hitting me and dragging me across the room and…" When she opened her eyes, she saw a mixture of anger and fear in Mac's eyes. "I was so sure he was going to rape me then kill me," she admitted. "Which is stupid. It's not like I hadn't slept with Frankie but…"

"It doesn't matter, it still would have been a crime, but thank God he didn't." Mac softly told her. "When is your first appointment?"

"Tomorrow morning. She tried to make it for today but I really wanted a day to recover first."

He gently swept some loose curls out of her face. "You know I'm here but I can't even begin to imagine what you went through emotionally." He smiled. "Claire always complained that I didn't understand women at all."

Stella smiled back. "You've done pretty well with me so far. But you're right. I need to talk to a professional about things." She touched his cheek. "But I'm hoping you will be my shoulder to cry on."

"That goes without saying." Not really wanting to move but wanting to give Stella space not to mention a need for food, Mac let go of Stella and climbed out of bed. "What do you want for breakfast? Anything at all. If I can't make it, I'll run out and get it."

Stretching, she replied. "I could get used to this." With a rested yawn, she said, "Coffee and eggs are fine, Mac. Unless you wanted something else."

"Nope, today is about you. And after breakfast, if you want to take a hot bath to help with the pain, it's all yours. I'm off all day so whatever you want I'm at your service." With a slight bow, he walked out the door.

Stella watched him as he left the bedroom. He was a good man. The best. If things had been different between them, she definitely would have pursued something more and, as she climbed out of the bed where Mac had made her feel safer than she had in years, she prayed that one day, if she couldn't have Mac, she would be lucky enough to find another man just like him.

The End


End file.
